This is my third time writing this post. Each time I’ve sat down to write it I end up sobbing and I can’t fathom completing the task at hand. Death is funny that way. Each time you talk about it, it’s like losing them all over again. Well, on October 12 my family dog died.
I know to some of you this isn’t a big deal, but her and I were pretty damn close. Even though I moved out of my parents’ house a few years ago that dog was my main squeeze. And if you know me at all, you know I love animals more than all humans. So, this loss hit me pretty hard. This was the first “family member” in my adult life that died, and if you’re a pet owner, they’re a family member, and I didn’t really know how to cope.
I pretty much disappeared from the world for 36 hours where I tried to figure out how I, this decently terrible basic bitch will live in a world where these perfect creatures leave before us. And I decided that I would do my best to honor my dog in all that I do everyday – I mean it’s what she would have want.
So, now when I go for a run I stop to admire the view. I sometimes stray from the course and take a different path. I sniff people’s butts, wait I mean… I stop and say hello to people on my way to and from work. Basically, I’m trying to be the best dog I can be, to honor my old dog. I think it’s what she would have wanted. I’m just glad we were able to give her one last amazing weekend; some dogs don’t get that.
Anyway, we got her ashes back this week and it hurt all over again.