I’ve taken a hiatus from a lot of things. It started accidentally – I’m not going to say that I had a grandiose plan to take a break from watching TV every night and instead start running again. I’m not going to say that I decided to cut cold turkey and delete all my dating apps on a whim one night. I’m not going to say that I just cut all the terrible people out of my life, though you know who you are, I’M CALLING YOU OUT (jk). That’s not how it happened, I vowed to keep it real here – actually, I never vowed to do anything with you but I think you and I will keep it real, right? I will tell the truth and you, you will point out in the comments when I spell something wrong. That’s how this works.
What did happen was I slowly started to notice a change in myself in 2017 (I think it’s because I’m reading a lot more and becoming far more self-aware). Well, I noticed that I didn’t want to watch Netflix/Hulu/HBOGO every night, I wanted to start running again, and over time I fell back in love with running. And, through falling in love with running and wanting to train for a half-marathon I had less time for things like going on awful dates with people. So I stopped caring about online dating. I know, I’m just as shocked as you are.
I started getting annoyed at the dating apps. So one-by-one I started deactivating and deleting them. Until one day there were none left on my phone. And you know what happened to me? Nothing. I noticed that I looked at my phone less. I cared about my friends more.
Then the next thing I realized was that I was more invested in my friends when we were together because I wasn’t distracted by my phone – C R A Z Y, I know. And you know what I realized? My friends are awful people. Just kidding. Or am I? When you aren’t distracted by technology and you are all in – you’re officially the person you want everyone else to be.
Always be the person you want others to be, fully-invested and always game.
I recently stumbled upon Mark Manson’s blog discussing this theory. In it he states, “The Law of “F*** Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “F*** Yes” in order for you to proceed with them. The Law of “F*** Yes or No” also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “F*** Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.”
Soak that in. Think about it.
In all things, just take a second to remember about this. We are all crazy busy people in an even more chaotic world, if you don’t feel something with every fiber of your being that makes you say YES 100% I’m all in! Then it’s a no. This could be a new job, a new love interest, a new car, a pet, drinks after work, getting up early to go for a run, etc.
When you say no to things that you are either wishy-washy about or don’t like, it leaves more time and energy to throw yourself at the things that you 100% care about.
Moving forward, if you don’t feel it in your core… it’s a no.
When was the last time you said no to something? And when was the last time it made you incredibly happy to do so? And not cancelling on a friend, that doesn’t count.