The guy that could sell you a home but never sell himself

In this week’s tell-all of my dating life it’s far more tame than the passionate C.O. from last week’s story. I met the realtor at a time in my life when I needed someone who was wholesome, kind, a great listener… everything that you would want to bring home to mom and dad. At this point in my life my checklist of things that I want men to have was faaaaaar longer than it is now (and no, it’s not because through the process of dating I’ve just given up and removed items one-by-one in a sad Bridget Jones-esque way).

Right now in my life I would like to have a man that treats me as his intellectual equal, who values family and friends equally, who has his own life but has room to let me in. I want someone who is able to communicate and open up about their feelings and doesn’t expect me to fall in love within the first few dates – because that’s not going to happen. Basically, right now my list revolves around emotional intelligence and the other person actually being stable enough to open themselves up to the possibility of love and is also somewhat handy – because I can’t fix anything but somehow I keep breaking things.

Back then my list was like: Tall, tips well, likes dogs, talks an equal amount on our dates, close with family/has a family? I could keep going but it was mostly superficial… it was terrible (I was terrible). I like to think I’ve come a long way since the realtor. But back to him.

The realtor checked everything on my stupid list that did a terrible job of actually telling if someone would be a good fit, because it was a superficial list. Our first date was at Great Lakes Brewery and he was really sweet, I only had to fake laugh like 3 times (which I KNOW I shouldn’t do) he even fixed my car afterward. I know that sounds weird but there was something hanging down under my car and it was a cable or something – ANYWAY handyman realtor climbed under my car and took care of it, which like *swoon*. He also could’ve installed a tracker or totally screwed up my car but this was a while ago and I don’t have that car anymore – so not my problem.

Our second date was at Tremont Taphouse. And at this moment in time I really shouldn’t have gone on a second date with him because I found him incredibly boring. I don’t know if it’s because he was actually everything I thought I was looking for or if it was because he was too passive, but this poor guy was just so incredibly boring to me. I think I had to stifle like 13 yawns on date 2.

Although I am Queen of the Yawns – so it also could’ve been because it was past 8:30pm but I think it was because he was so boring and monotonous.

Except when he realized where I lived and knew (without me telling him) what I pay on rent and then tried to explain to me with I could afford if I allocated that into a mortgage. And he basically switched from Date Mode to Realtor Mode and I then saw a completely different personality. For the record – I am not in the market for a home, so when I turned him down on his offer he was a little sad. I also think he was sad that I didn’t care that he sold Stipe Miocic a home.

I will say this loudly for the people in the back: When you’re dating you are doing it for love and not to sell your professional services.

Don’t be a prostitute.

The Rosy Basic B
When dating doesn’t work out – which face it sometimes it feels like it will never work out… take the stories outside and start gabbing with the girls. I mean how else are you going to validate all the choices you made without a champagne flute filled with something light and airy?


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