I can’t even tell you when we matched or how our conversation started or who said what first or how charming and witty I was… Just know that I was in fact charming and witty. I just remember that it was hot. Not like, our chemistry (though there was a lot of that…), just the temperature outside was scorching and he mentioned that he was a corrections officer and I asked if he was looking to take in another prisoner. I know what you’re thinking, wow, you’re really laying it all out there aren’t you? But you can’t hate the player, hate the
game tinder game.
I can’t tell you how it started because the aforementioned corrections officer has since unmatched me on Tinder and we are no longer in communication. And before you ask: No, I did not ghost him. This C.O. and I initially clicked right away. I think we clicked right away because I was willing to flirt and show him that girls can be forward via text first. This is a trick I learned from a friend and let me tell you, it really lightens the mood.
Anyway, this C.O. and I ended up going out for dinner and drinks which then turned into dinner, drinks and a movie (Finding Dory – his pick, I shit you not) one Saturday. That first date was like makeout city… I mean the passion was there and if this was Bachelorette and I was JoJo he would’ve been Jordan Rodgers and gotten the First Impression Rose right then and there. That first date was everything.
We quickly had another date, this time a lunch date, the following day and then he used the typical line, do you want to Netflix and Chill?” and I quickly rebutted this with, “We can just Netflix and get to know each other, but I’m not a ‘Netflix and Chill’ kinda girl.” I never knew that you could get to know someone so much and so quickly in two dates, but the Correctional Officer and I were so quick to share.
We arranged to have a third date before I left on a quick out of town trip… It’s funny how you can be one person on a date and another with your friends, I myself try to be the same person throughout. I think this is an important thing to be aware of, if you have multiple sides, be aware of them in case people see your many facades as they might be taken aback at first.
The C.O. was a little different, his hours weren’t your typical 9-5, which is fine and in fact our first few dates he had the days off so I never saw him after work. However, on our third date I saw him after work and it was like dating a different man entirely. I understand that his line of work is a very complex and troubling line of work and can cause some anger issues within a person, but the person who came home after work on date three was angry and in no mood to see another person. I mean, this person was slamming cabinets and snippy and this was date three! What was going to happen when we fell out of the honeymoon phase? On date three everything is supposed to be rainbows and butterflies and sunshine….
When I asked him if he was okay and if he still wanted me to be there he simply stated, “Yeah, of course I want you here! I just wish you didn’t have to see me after work it always makes me so angry.” When the guy works six days a week, I would have to see him after work if I was going to date him and if this is the norm, there would be a serious discussion about mental health and to quote another Bachelor Nation Star, his “emotional Intelligence.”
When I returned from my trip with friends after serious discussion with them, I gave my C.O. a call and explained to him that this wasn’t working and I didn’t think there was going to be a future for us. I didn’t want to be with someone who was so upset and angry when they got home from work and I said that the timing wasn’t right for us. Shocker, he did not take it well. What started as him saying he could change for me, which is surprising for only have a few dates, quickly changed to him saying “no,” to the dumping.
Which to be clear – you can’t say no to a dumping.