You Gotta Break Up: 3 tests to know if someone is the right one for you

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about what makes a relationship work and what doesn’t. Mostly because I am back to online dating, but I feel like I am going at dating with a different mindset than most people. Because I just I genuinely don’t care.

I am in this (by this I mean life) for myself. On any given day when you approach me, I will have an IDGAF attitude. I don’t care what you think of me. I am content. If you make me not that, I will probably let you go. It took me a long time to realize that this is how life should be. And by golly if I find someone whose content-ness matches my own and maybe, just maybe we can even make each other happy a few days that would be fucking great. But if I’m dating someone and they are constantly making me feel uneasy or unsure of myself, you best believe they are going to get the boot. So, how do you know someone isn’t right for you?  Here’s the test!

Three tests of a relationship’s success rate (give or take, I mean I’m clearly not a pro):

1. Swipe Left or Right

This is basically the Tinder Test, however it applies to anything and everything. Are you attracted to them? Would you swipe right on your significant other? If they aren’t attractive to you, why are you with them?

(Second marriages maybe don’t apply, we all know those are for money and money alone.) 😉

2. PDA

Is your partner someone you want to take out and display in public. Meaning, are you proud to show them off to your friends at parties and events. Do you feel proud to call them yours or do you find them embarrassing because they all always do that one thing and you never know if they’re going to be on their best behavior? Have you ever told your partner that it was, “just a girls/boys night,” because you did not want to invite them out and then you proceeded to go out with your whole group of friends?

If you were truly in love with this person, you would bring them around your friends no matter what because you would not care what people thought because you like/love them and this wouldn’t phase you.

3. Fambalam

I think this speaks for itself… well maybe not, because it’s a take off of Black Betty lyrics. But is this someone who you wouldn’t want to invite home to meet mom and dad and eat a lengthy meal with while sharing all the embarrassing things from your childhood. You gotta break up with them.

If someone passes all three, that’s when you know you have someone special. That’s when you know you fight for them. I’m not saying someone could pass all three and not be a total piece of shit. People can surprise you.

I’m just saying, this is a great way to tests someone’s character and also test yourself along the way. Don’t rush the tests though – give people a little bit of a chance.


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