The Roaring Twenties: How we’re all royally screwing it up

I recently read a book by May Jay, Ph.D. entitled, “The Defining Decade: Why your twenties matter – and how to make the most of them now.” In it she discusses how a vast majority of twentysomethings are wasting away their twenties because they think that the “thirty-is-the-new-twenty” culture tells us these years don’t matter and that they are to be thrown away. That they are years to be played with – to throw around.

If you don’t have time to read the book, Dr. Jay gave a Ted Talk that is a quick peek into what the book entails, in the talk she gave 3 pieces of advice for how twentysomethings can re-claim adulthood in the defining decade of their lives:

  1. Get something Identity Capital. Do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that adds value to what you want to do next.
  2. The Urban Tribe is overrated. Look outside your innercircle for next big thing. Look to your weak ties for your next job, your next love – this is not cheating the system… this is using the system.
  3. The time to start picking your family IS now… The time to work on your marriage is before you have one.

The book itself is divided into three sections: Work, Love, and The Brain and the Body

Work talks about increasing your “identity capital”, the value of milking your weak ties, the unhelpful prevalence of Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat/general social media comparisons, and seeing a career as the first step in a unique, customized life versus settling down (hey – maybe you can even make blogging a career!).

Love goes into the importance of taking dating seriously in your 20s, compatibility with possible in-laws, how to make sure living together isn’t harmful (e.g., it shouldn’t be something you slip into but something that you do with you after serious thought and consideration) and, obviously, at the heart of the section – choosing the right partner.

The Brain and Body is sort of a miscellaneous collection of pieces centered on how your brain, body and mind works. This section also covered a lot of neuroscience research I wasn’t aware of. For example, your brain undergoes a radical period of reconfiguration in your 20s, which means now is the best opportunity for learning skills. Or, the frontal cortex that controls a lot of our mature responses such as regulating emotions is still developing for most people in their 20s. Besides the physical brain, Dr. Jay also talks about the mind such as learning how to calm yourself down, how to develop confidence (rather than believing it’s fixed), and that you can radically alter how you feel by changing parts of your life.

The final chapter before the epilogue talks about mapping your years to see how limited your time truly is. It seems common for many young people to talk about getting their career in order or going to graduate school eventually, getting married and having kids but not all at the same time. Except, when you’re 25 or 27 saying this, you’ll realize that you’re actually quickly running out of time.

By far my favorite thing that I enjoyed learning from the book was The Big Five. The Big Five refers to the five factors that describe how people interact with the world: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Neuroticism. Just by reading about the Big Five and considering your own behavior, it is pretty easy to tell whether whether you fall on the high end or the low end, or somewhere in the middle, of the five dimensions.

I suggest you pick up the book, read it – create your timeline. The future isn’t written, there are no guarantees. Claim your life and get to work today.

You are deciding it all – right now, everyday.


That 1 word you shouldn’t use in your first message

We’ve all been there. You match with someone you think is so amazing only to draw a complete an utter blank. What are you going to say? It’s not like you’re in a bar and you catch a glance of each other from across the whole place and BAM. Sparks fly, universes collide and you just know in your heart of hearts that one of you will come over and approach the other person and say that one word and it’s all over… the rest, so to speak, will be history.


In online dating, the right swipe is the “hey,” so if your first message is also a, “hey” you aren’t showing your originality. In fact, hi, hello and hey received a response message 18-30% less than their more unusual counterparts (i.e., how’s it going, hola, what’s up). I still don’t think you should use ANY OF THESE – but you shouldn’t use hey, which was the worst offender.

There is a reason these dating apps have an amazing little section where you put in a few little words about yourself. Skim it real quick and write a response. Here, we can do a practice session. We will use myself as an example.

IMG_9496So with this bio you can engage me by asking if I caught the Indians game last night, if I’m going to the game tonight/tomorrow. You can ask me what I like writing about… 😉  Or you can ask me about my funny childhood photo (it’s my last photo and I am pulling a weird face – it’s great to have at least 1 photo that it a conversation starter). Let’s move on to another Tinder profile….

1d1.jpgNow with Jamie, it’s a little different. Jamie doesn’t have a bio with her profile, but she’s doing a GREAT job with her her photos – she’s smiling, showing her personality right away, which in turn will increase her right swipes.

Now, as people start engaging Jamie – hey or hi, might seem like the only thing they can and should say since she hasn’t provided anything to go on. But she has provided a lot! “How long have you been hitting the slopes, you look like a pro?” “Man, I wish I could’ve been out with you than day on the slopes! It looks like you had an awesome time.” On to the next one!

tinder-puppy.png I read somewhere there around 10% of Tinder photos have a dog in them (I feel like I must swipe left on everyone without a dog… because I think 99.7% of my matches have a dog… I just love dogs, okay!). I think the best way to engage Taylor is playfully, because that is that sign he is conveying with his entire profile.

Something along the lines of, “Taylor, I don’t know if puppies can read, but will you please tell your owner he is cute.” That will get the job done. 😉


Good luck out there champ – you got this, and don’t you dare say hey ever, ever again.

You Gotta Break Up: 3 tests to know if someone is the right one for you

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about what makes a relationship work and what doesn’t. Mostly because I am back to online dating, but I feel like I am going at dating with a different mindset than most people. Because I just I genuinely don’t care.

I am in this (by this I mean life) for myself. On any given day when you approach me, I will have an IDGAF attitude. I don’t care what you think of me. I am content. If you make me not that, I will probably let you go. It took me a long time to realize that this is how life should be. And by golly if I find someone whose content-ness matches my own and maybe, just maybe we can even make each other happy a few days that would be fucking great. But if I’m dating someone and they are constantly making me feel uneasy or unsure of myself, you best believe they are going to get the boot. So, how do you know someone isn’t right for you?  Here’s the test!

Three tests of a relationship’s success rate (give or take, I mean I’m clearly not a pro):

1. Swipe Left or Right

This is basically the Tinder Test, however it applies to anything and everything. Are you attracted to them? Would you swipe right on your significant other? If they aren’t attractive to you, why are you with them?

(Second marriages maybe don’t apply, we all know those are for money and money alone.) 😉

2. PDA

Is your partner someone you want to take out and display in public. Meaning, are you proud to show them off to your friends at parties and events. Do you feel proud to call them yours or do you find them embarrassing because they all always do that one thing and you never know if they’re going to be on their best behavior? Have you ever told your partner that it was, “just a girls/boys night,” because you did not want to invite them out and then you proceeded to go out with your whole group of friends?

If you were truly in love with this person, you would bring them around your friends no matter what because you would not care what people thought because you like/love them and this wouldn’t phase you.

3. Fambalam

I think this speaks for itself… well maybe not, because it’s a take off of Black Betty lyrics. But is this someone who you wouldn’t want to invite home to meet mom and dad and eat a lengthy meal with while sharing all the embarrassing things from your childhood. You gotta break up with them.

If someone passes all three, that’s when you know you have someone special. That’s when you know you fight for them. I’m not saying someone could pass all three and not be a total piece of shit. People can surprise you.

I’m just saying, this is a great way to tests someone’s character and also test yourself along the way. Don’t rush the tests though – give people a little bit of a chance.

The guy that could sell you a home but never sell himself

In this week’s tell-all of my dating life it’s far more tame than the passionate C.O. from last week’s story. I met the realtor at a time in my life when I needed someone who was wholesome, kind, a great listener… everything that you would want to bring home to mom and dad. At this point in my life my checklist of things that I want men to have was faaaaaar longer than it is now (and no, it’s not because through the process of dating I’ve just given up and removed items one-by-one in a sad Bridget Jones-esque way).

Right now in my life I would like to have a man that treats me as his intellectual equal, who values family and friends equally, who has his own life but has room to let me in. I want someone who is able to communicate and open up about their feelings and doesn’t expect me to fall in love within the first few dates – because that’s not going to happen. Basically, right now my list revolves around emotional intelligence and the other person actually being stable enough to open themselves up to the possibility of love and is also somewhat handy – because I can’t fix anything but somehow I keep breaking things.

Back then my list was like: Tall, tips well, likes dogs, talks an equal amount on our dates, close with family/has a family? I could keep going but it was mostly superficial… it was terrible (I was terrible). I like to think I’ve come a long way since the realtor. But back to him.

The realtor checked everything on my stupid list that did a terrible job of actually telling if someone would be a good fit, because it was a superficial list. Our first date was at Great Lakes Brewery and he was really sweet, I only had to fake laugh like 3 times (which I KNOW I shouldn’t do) he even fixed my car afterward. I know that sounds weird but there was something hanging down under my car and it was a cable or something – ANYWAY handyman realtor climbed under my car and took care of it, which like *swoon*. He also could’ve installed a tracker or totally screwed up my car but this was a while ago and I don’t have that car anymore – so not my problem.

Our second date was at Tremont Taphouse. And at this moment in time I really shouldn’t have gone on a second date with him because I found him incredibly boring. I don’t know if it’s because he was actually everything I thought I was looking for or if it was because he was too passive, but this poor guy was just so incredibly boring to me. I think I had to stifle like 13 yawns on date 2.

Although I am Queen of the Yawns – so it also could’ve been because it was past 8:30pm but I think it was because he was so boring and monotonous.

Except when he realized where I lived and knew (without me telling him) what I pay on rent and then tried to explain to me with I could afford if I allocated that into a mortgage. And he basically switched from Date Mode to Realtor Mode and I then saw a completely different personality. For the record – I am not in the market for a home, so when I turned him down on his offer he was a little sad. I also think he was sad that I didn’t care that he sold Stipe Miocic a home.

I will say this loudly for the people in the back: When you’re dating you are doing it for love and not to sell your professional services.

Don’t be a prostitute.

The Rosy Basic B
When dating doesn’t work out – which face it sometimes it feels like it will never work out… take the stories outside and start gabbing with the girls. I mean how else are you going to validate all the choices you made without a champagne flute filled with something light and airy?

The prison guard that could never quite guard his anger

I can’t even tell you when we matched or how our conversation started or who said what first or how charming and witty I was… Just know that I was in fact charming and witty. I just remember that it was hot. Not like, our chemistry (though there was a lot of that…), just the temperature outside was scorching and he mentioned that he was a corrections officer and I asked if he was looking to take in another prisoner. I know what you’re thinking, wow, you’re really laying it all out there aren’t you? But you can’t hate the player, hate the game tinder game.

I can’t tell you how it started because the aforementioned corrections officer has since unmatched me on Tinder and we are no longer in communication. And before you ask: No, I did not ghost him. This C.O. and I initially clicked right away. I think we clicked right away because I was willing to flirt and show him that girls can be forward via text first. This is a trick I learned from a friend and let me tell you, it really lightens the mood.

Anyway, this C.O. and I ended up going out for dinner and drinks which then turned into dinner, drinks and a movie (Finding Dory – his pick, I shit you not) one Saturday. That first date was like makeout city… I mean the passion was there and if this was Bachelorette and I was JoJo he would’ve been Jordan Rodgers and gotten the First Impression Rose right then and there. That first date was everything.

We quickly had another date, this time a lunch date, the following day and then he used the typical line, do you want to Netflix and Chill?” and I quickly rebutted this with, “We can just Netflix and get to know each other, but I’m not a ‘Netflix and Chill’ kinda girl.” I never knew that you could get to know someone so much and so quickly in two dates, but the Correctional Officer and I were so quick to share.

We arranged to have a third date before I left on a quick out of town trip… It’s funny how you can be one person on a date and another with your friends, I myself try to be the same person throughout. I think this is an important thing to be aware of, if you have multiple sides, be aware of them in case people see your many facades as they might be taken aback at first.

The C.O. was a little different, his hours weren’t your typical 9-5, which is fine and in fact our first few dates he had the days off so I never saw him after work. However, on our third date I saw him after work and it was like dating a different man entirely. I understand that his line of work is a very complex and troubling line of work and can cause some anger issues within a person, but the person who came home after work on date three was angry and in no mood to see another person. I mean, this person was slamming cabinets and snippy and this was date three! What was going to happen when we fell out of the honeymoon phase? On date three everything is supposed to be rainbows and butterflies and sunshine….

When I asked him if he was okay and if he still wanted me to be there he simply stated, “Yeah, of course I want you here! I just wish you didn’t have to see me after work it always makes me so angry.” When the guy works six days a week, I would have to see him after work if I was going to date him and if this is the norm, there would be a serious discussion about mental health and to quote another Bachelor Nation Star, his “emotional Intelligence.”

When I returned from my trip with friends after serious discussion with them, I gave my C.O. a call and explained to him that this wasn’t working and I didn’t think there was going to be a future for us. I didn’t want to be with someone who was so upset and angry when they got home from work and I said that the timing wasn’t right for us. Shocker, he did not take it well. What started as him saying he could change for me, which is surprising for only have a few dates, quickly changed to him saying “no,” to the dumping.

Which to be clear – you can’t say no to a dumping.

Rock you like a hurricane

One year ago, I went on an impromptu trip with my best friend Shannon to New Orleans. The two of us had never gone on a trip together and it was nice to plan a last minute trip to see her and see a new town at the same time. Shannon and I decided we would take a trip every year, or every other year (this year has gotten CRAZY for me with weddings).

I don’t think either of us knew how much fun we would have together or the stories that would come out of our trip to NOLA. I think New Orleans is the Southern Vegas, so some of our stories will stay between the two of us. But the food and PG adventures can be shared with all you strangers!

We encountered the nicest people during our time in New Orleans. Everyone went above and beyond to make our trip so fun and carefree. We got in Thursday night – around 9pm and took the nicest Uber to our AirBnb. Our driver took us on a mini tour of the area pointing out areas we should steer clear of and the areas that we should go. She told us where to go if we wanted to see sites that were still trying to recover from Katrina 12 years later. She was basically our taxi tour guide, she was fantastic. We then met our AirBnb host who was equally fantastic, we stayed in the Arts District – which was cheaper than the French Quarter and a short walk each day. He was a school teacher nearby and lived above the apartment we were staying in. He was also our resident palmetto bug killer because Shannon and I do not mess with that.

And just like the races, we were off and running in NOLA! The night we landed we went to a few bars near our AirBnb, Hi-Ho Lounge and Siberia – both had live music and food which was needed after a day of work/travel. Siberia’s polish menu is weird – but somehow it works and you fall in love with every bite.

The next morning we were off to Café Du Monde, but first we needed to cut through the French Market to take in the sites and to avoid the quick downpour that struck during our walk! But all was forgiven once we ate those delicious beignets, had a heaping coffee and started window shopping (you know, once the rain stopped).

Window shopping lead to day drinking at Pat O’Brien’s and somehow we wandered home to shower and get ready for a night out on Bourbon Street! But first, dinner. We dined at Royal House out on the ricketiest patio eating oysters that were the size of our heads and some nice southern meals. We then made our way to Bourbon Street where we started the night at Tickler’s Piano Bar – every night should start at a piano bar that knows the perfect moment to play Hang On Sloopy (I also spent $20 to keep it going because there were some rowdy MSU fans in the house that wanted it off). One thing led to another and we found ourselves part of a bachelor’s party.

If you’ve been to Bourbon Street, this is not hard to do – the entire road is made up on bachelors and bachelorettes. Shannon and I were the freaks for being there on a “girls trip,” and not having 16 other women with us. We mystified people. Well, we mystified men.

We could have fun in a cardboard box. But put us on a dance floor and we will turn it up. Bourbon Street was a rowdy time. From Tickler’s Piano Bar we headed to Razzoo’s at Razzoo’s we ditched Bachelor Party #1 for Bachelor Party #2, then it was on to the Bourbon Bandstand. After the Bourbon Bandstand, we decided to go back to Razzoo’s and we ran into Bachelor Party #1 and it was here that we irish exited Bachelor Party #2 and joined back up with Bachelor party #1 (I don’t understand us either but we were dancing machines and we came to party).

The next morning we were somehow alive and functioning enough to eat lunch and then head to the Garden District to walk around and look at gorgeous homes and check out graves at Lafayette Cemetery No. 1.

On to party night number 2! Surprisingly, this night did not involve any bachelor parties… just a group we will call “The Dads” and Rugby Players. In true fashion we started the night with dinner at Adolfo’s on Frenchman Street (this street is so much fun) and the restaurant is cash only, a fact that I’m glad we knew about before we went! Then it was back to Bourbon Street! Once again at our tried and true Tickler’s… where we met the dad’s and on to Razzoo’s we went where this time we got the VIP treatment because Shannon became besties with a bartender the night before. In true Meg and Shan fashion, we ghosted the dad’s at Razzoo’s and were on to the next bar! This one was called the Bourbon Cowboy and it was here that we ran into a herd of Rugby Players from Dallas. These gents were a hoot and a half and could make even 5’8” me feel like a shrimp, they were skyscrapers! And boy, did they love to dance!

We danced the night away with them from bar to bar and then bailed when it got to be really late…

The next morning we were off to brunch at Brennan’s and then a trip to the plantations! Shannon and I went to Oak Alley Plantation to see the rich history of this area, and it was fascinating to learn the stories of these homes. We also had a weird trick of constantly running into Bachelor Parties that we encountered from the nights before… We had our final (amazing) dinner at Café Amelie sitting outside sharing stories from the weekend and laughing too much.

And just like that, our whirlwind adventure in New Orleans came to a close. Not before Shannon got stranded in the NOLA airport due to the flooding in Houston last year… but alas, we all made it out alive and with a few more stories up our sleeves. 🙂


When’s the last time you went on a whirlwind adventure with your bestie?

The Rosy Basic B
Because when you’re tearing it up in New Orleans with your best friend wrecking havoc on unsuspecting souls, the best thing to wash down the stories with is a gin, rosé and lime juice. So pour yourself one and let the stories flow!

Rosy Basic B

The weather is finally getting warm, which means that Patio Season is right around the corner! And when the weather warms up the short shorts and cute, flowy summer dresses are seen a plenty on the streets worn by all the basic betches. I mean if you don’t celebrate the start of the warm weather with a skimpy little dress or your coolest pair of jorts – are you even celebrating properly?

The answer to that question is no of course my loves! And if you’re celebrating the way a Basic Betch would you need to so in style. The Rosy Basic B is named after the sun-kissed cheek glow you will undoubtedly get from sitting on one too many patios in the next few weeks.

Gin – preferably one with piney or citrus notes (think Bombay or Beefeater)
Sparkling Rosé – whichever brand you prefer, it just needs to be a rosé.
Lime, juiced

In a shaker over ice, add 1 oz. of gin, 1 lime juiced and 3 shots of Rosé (or 4.5 oz. if you’re not using my preferred measuring guide aka a shot glass) – gently swirl.

Pour into champagne flute and sip away, you Basic Betch. (serves 1, because a true basic b is comfortable making a classy cocktail for just herself and her RBF.)

In the blink of a… light

Life moves really fast. Some say it moves at the speed of a blink of an eye. For me, the month of March moved at the speed of, let’s say a light moving from yellow to red.

Up until March 8, my trusted mode of transportation was a silver 2014 Ford Escape. This was my adult car. It was the very, first thing I (me, all by myself) purchased when I paid off my student loans and I sobbed in the dealership because I went to “look at cars,” I didn’t think that meant I would purchase something (oh how naive 22-year-old me was).

So I bawled in the dealer, but I never regretted my purchase. Not even when I had to spend an arm and a leg each month on that car payment. I loved everything about that car. I loved it’s sunroof. I loved it’s back-up camera. I loved it’s spacious seats. I loved that I could pack it up. I hated that because I had a small-sized SUV I helped multiple friends move due to my car. That car drove with me for 1.5 hours a day to and from my old job. And then I got a new job and I didn’t drive to work anymore.

But it just made me love my car even more when I drove it on the weekends or at night to the gym where I got super swoll. And then I moved downtown and didn’t need a car at all because I walk everywhere (to work, to the grocery store, etc.). But because this is Cleveland, you can’t actually go car-less so I still had my car and I still loved it just the same. Once you move to downtown Cleveland the thought of getting your car out of the garage and driving to a grocery store out of the city is exhausting. But alas, I try to do it once a week or every other week so I can meal prep or forget to meal prep and then throw away all that food and money.

(Side note: Can we all try and be better meal preppers this year? How do those people meal prep every week, week after week? I am extremely envious of them and their extremely put together lives. As I’m writing this I’m eating an Uncrustable that I consider a meal.)

I got my Ford Escape June 21, 2014. And it met its fateful end 991 days later that March 8 morning.

Luckily, I did not meet my end, so my car did it’s job. But it’s crazy how your life does flash before your eyes as you’re spinning in an intersection and then you end up coming to a stop facing the wrong-way on a one way road. My car was totaled. I on the other hand was not, just a few bruises and scratches from who knows what. I then got to start the fun protocol of dealing with insurance and totaling a car in a city that you don’t live in and getting a new car. For the record, it takes around 2.5 weeks (at least with a reputable and nice insurance company). And then you still have to purchase another car!

So back to the dealers I went, this time older… wiser… able to negotiate harder… and I was not going to cry (at least this is what I told myself over and over again). But, you know what? I was right! I did not cry.

I ended up getting a 2015 Mazda CX-5 in cherry red. I’ve never had such a vibrant car before in my life, I think it means I’m going to have to watch my speed. But here’s to new cars in 2017, and here’s to staying safe on the roads – you might just want to avoid me.


The Drunch Bloody.

Because life comes at you fast. This week, enjoy your weekend brunch with friends and maybe let’s try to DIY it at home… you know, to avoid hitting the roads?


Drunch Bloody

Every great weekend deserves an even better drunk brunch. It’s really the only way to measure if you had a great weekend or not, and no brunch is complete without a Bloody Mary or two… So, without further adieu I bring you an easy and full-proof Drunch Bloody!

Vodka of your choice
Bloody Mix (Zing Zang is the best IMHO and you should always strive to live life on the spicey side)
Worcestershire Sauce
Celery Salt
Garnish with a least a celery stalk, at most a cheeseburger (hey, I’ve seen it!)

In a glass with ice add 4 parts bloody mix to 1 part vodka, then add:

  • 2 good shakes of worcestershire
  • ½ tsp. Horseradish
  • 2 shakes of tabasco

Stir. Sprinkle with celery salt and garnish to taste. 🙂

I’m not exactly saying no… but I’m not saying FUCK YES

I’ve taken a hiatus from a lot of things. It started accidentally – I’m not going to say that I had a grandiose plan to take a break from watching TV every night and instead start running again. I’m not going to say that I decided to cut cold turkey and delete all my dating apps on a whim one night. I’m not going to say that I just cut all the shitty people out of my life, though you know who you are, I’M CALLING YOU OUT (jk). That’s not how it happened, I vowed to keep it real here – actually, I never vowed to do shit with you but I think you and I will keep it real, right? I will tell the truth and you, you will point out in the comments when I spell something wrong. That’s how this works.

What did happen was I slowly started to notice a change in myself in 2017 (I think it’s because I’m reading a lot more and becoming far more self-aware). Well, I noticed that I didn’t want to watch Netflix/Hulu/HBOGO every night, I wanted to start running again, and over time I fell back in love with running. And, through falling in love with running and wanting to train for a half-marathon I had less time for things like going on shitty dates with people that were half-assing something that I thought should require a whole-ass. So I stopped caring about online dating. I know, I’m just as shocked as you are.

I started getting annoyed at the dating apps. So one-by-one I started deactivating and deleting them. Until one day there were none left on my phone. And you know what happened to me? Nothing. I noticed that I looked at my phone less. I cared about my friends more.

Then the next thing I realized was that I was more invested in my friends when we were together because I wasn’t distracted by my phone – C R A Z Y, I know. And you know what I realized? My friends are shitty people. Just kidding. Or am I? When you aren’t distracted by technology and you are all in – you’re officially the person you want everyone else to be.

Always be the person you want others to be, fully-invested and always game. Whole-assed.

I recently stumbled upon Mark Manson’s blog discussing this theory. In it he states, “The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them. The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.

Just, like, this. Soak it in. Think about it.

In all things, just take a second to remember about this. We are all crazy busy people in an even more chaotic world, if you don’t feel something with every fiber of your being that makes you say FUCK YES 100% I’m all in! Then it’s a no. This could be a new job, a new lover, a new car, a pet, drinks after work, getting up early to go for a run, etc.

When you say no to things that you are either wishy-washy about or don’t like, it leaves more time and energy to throw yourself at the FUCK YES things.

Moving forward, if you don’t feel it in your core… if it doesn’t make you say, “FUCK YES!!” – it’s a no.


When was the last time you said no to something? And when was the last time it made you incredibly happy to do so? And not cancelling on a friend, that doesn’t count.